The Many Meanings of Never
by chymom
Summary: This story just came to me one night begging to be writen so here it is. The rating is on the safe side. This is not part of the Courtroom series. However this is the frist connection story that I have written.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own any one in this story. This is just for enjoyment. Hope you all like this one it was written some time back. One day I just sat down thinking about a story to write and this one just came out. Any of the JAG shows may show up in my work. **

**The Many Meanings of Never. **

**It was late. Harm knew that Mac should be asleep, but he had to know the answer to a question that had been eating at him for some time now. Harm pulled up to Mac's apartment building and just sat there a minute. **

**Harm wanted the answer to his question. How do I ask her this and not get chopped in half or kicked out the door? Harm thought to himself. Just go up to her and ask her right out. No hinting to see if she knows what you mean, No "You know the answer" statements, and Absolutely no more hurting her. If Harm were to hurt her by trying to find out the answer, he would never forgive himself. **

**Harm had caused enough pain to Mac in the past. If she was hurt by him. Then he would just have to make sure that the next case that he went on he either wouldn't come back or would stay stationed there. That would not be that hard to do on either account Harm thought to himself. If Clay could fake his own death, maybe he could help Harm do it too, if it came to that. Harm hoped that it wouldn't, but it never hurts to be ready with a backup plan if needed. What was it that Mac had told him once? "Always ready for anything. You're such a good Boy Scout." **

**Remembering what Mac was doing, what she was wearing, and how she was looking at that moment was all that Harm could think about. The regret that he had not taken her in his arms and kissed the living daylights out of her right then was something new to him. **

**When did what I feel for Mac change from hate to love? If Harm was being honest with himself, he never hated Mac. He had always loved her. Even when she had said "Never" to him. That one word changed his life forever. "Never" was a word that Harm had not even considered where Mac was concerned. That one word sent his life into a tailspin. **

**If Harm had been in his Sarah or an F-14, heck any plane, then a tailspin would have been easy to pull out of. However, pulling out of this tailspin was not as easy. Harm was brought back to reality by a car passing by. **

**Harm had just come back from flying a mission that could have very easily cost him his life. Not just his, but his partner's as well. Another partner that was a female, Harm laughed to himself. There were few times in his career that he was paired with a male and not a female. However none of his partners had affected him as much as Mac had. **

**Harm was slowly working up his courage to talk to Mac when his phone rang. "Rabb" was the answer that the person on the line received. The line was quiet for a few minutes, then Harm heard the a voice that could make his blood run cold. "Rabb, why don't you come on up and join us? I know your marine would like to have some company before she meets your dad. " **

**Closing his phone, Harm was out of his car and at Mac,s door in a matter of minutes. To Harm it felt like hours till he got there. Taking his weapon into his right hand, Harm entered Mac's dark apartment. "What do you want and why are you here?" Harm waited for an answer but didn't get one. A few minutes later Harm asked again "What do you want and why are you here?" This time Harm was answered by Mac telling Harm to get out of here. Harm knew that whatever was going on was dangerous. This man never did anything by halfs. If he was doing it, it was done all the way. For Mac to want to keep Harm safe was what he was counting on. **

**"Come on Rabb, you know what I want. That has not changed since the last time I saw you. Now, the why "here". Where else would you come when you knew that one of your precious Sarahs were in trouble?" Harm had not known this man was here, however the feeling that Harm had to talk to Mac tonight was so overwhelming that Harm just had to come see her. **

**Mac was sitting in the dark with the man that she never wanted to see again. This man had caused Harm so much pain already. If Mac could help it, Harm would suffer no more from this man. Right now Mac's chances of making this work to her advantage were slim to none. "When has that ever stopped you?" Mac thought to herself. **

**Harm had just stepped inside the door enough to be able to close it. "Why don't you come join us on the couch, Rabb?" Harm had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach when he answered "Ok, I will be right there. " Mac felt a hand go to her chest and hold her there. Another hand went to her neck where she felt a knife pressed to her neck.**

**"Why don't you just let her go? You have me here. Is that not why you want me here with no backup? Where does this woman play a part in your plan?" Harm had a feeling what part Mac was in this plan, but didn't want to go there. If there was any way for Mac to get loose, get out of the apartment as fast as she could and not look back, Harm prayed that she would find it. Knowing Mac as well as Harm did, he thought that would not happen but there was no way that he would let this sick bastard hurt her for any resaon. **

**"Come on Rabb, you know where your little Sarah here lies in my plan. Do you want me to spell it out for you?" Harm wanted to keep him talking. Harm knew that Mac would not leave him but if she could at least get away from this man it would help him out. "I want to know why you picked my "FORMER" partner, who I have not talked to in months? Why not someone that I am close to?" Mac stiffened in the man's arms telling him that this was the truth. "You're not as good as you think you are. If you had been on top of your game, then you would have know that I am no longer at JAG. But you didn't, did you?" **

**This just served to get the man more upset. "Rabb, if you have not talked to Sarah in months and have no feelings for her then why are you here? If you're not at JAG, then how did you know I was here.?" Harm thought about it for a moment. How did I know to come here tonight? Mac needed him it was that easy. But he would be damned if he let this bastard know that, instead, Harm said "I was informed that you were in the area. "**

**The man thought for a minute "So how did you know that I was here?" Harm knew what he was getting at but was not going to let the man get the best of him. "I checked around with the people that I work with now and then with the people I used to work with. This is the last place I had to look." Harm was trying to play it cool. As far as Mac could tell, having a man hold a knife to her neck and try to kill her was just something that was an inconvenience to Harm. **

**The man was seeing that as well. Letting his grip loosen just a little. That was the opening that Mac needed. She took all the strength that she had and flipped the man over. Harm was at her side in seconds. The man had been stunned when Mac flipped him, but when Harm got close enough he swung the knife at Harm. The knife struck Harm in the shoulder. Harm pulled it out and then turned to see if Mac was ok. **

**Just as Harm turned his back, the man pulled a wire from his belt. It didn't take him long to place the wire around Harm,s neck and start to cut off Harm's air supply. Mac saw what was going on. Not wanting to lose Harm, she took the knife and stabbed the man in the arm. This got his attention and made him let go of the wire. Harm felt the wire give a little and turned to see the bastard turn like he was going to go after Mac. **

**Knowing that it was now or never, Harm summoned up all the strength that he could and turned on the man. Taking the wire and placing it around the man's neck, he pulled it till the man blacked out, hoping that the man died. That way Mac would be safe. **

**24 hours later- **

**Harm was awakened by someone crying. He felt a hand in his. The hand was small and slender. It could not be the man who had started all this mess. What had Harm ever done to this man to make him want to hurt Mac of all people. Finding nothing that he could remember, Harm tried to open his eyes. Finding it hard to do, he decided to rest a little more and try again in a few minutes.**

**Mac had felt Harm stir a little and that's what made her start to cry. At first, Mac was sure that she had lost the only man that she every truly loved. The irony of the mess was that the man that she had almost lost Harm to, had told her for a long time that he loved her. **

**"Why would he hurt the man that meant the most to me if he loved me?" Mac was asking herself. Then she thought for a minute. He never was ok with Harm being around me. Did he know before I did that Harm was my soul mate, SOUL MATE ?" Mac wondered where did that come from?**

**Harm had found it easier this time to open his eyes. The first thing he saw was Mac sitting there with one hand in his and the other covering her face. She is trying to hide the tears. But why? Harm thought to himself. Did she love that bastard that much? If I am here and I am guessing here is in a hospital, then where is he.**

**Since Mac's not in a bed beside me, she must be ok. "Mac, are you ok?" Startled by Harm's voice as much as the question, Mac jumped slightly. "I am fine. It's you I was worried about. Harm he almost killed you. You almost died, because of what? What was it that he wanted?" Mac had more questions, but was unsure she was ready to answer them.**

**Harm had wondered the same thing as Mac. Unlike Mac, Harm had an answer. However, Harm didn't know what to say at first. I should just come out and say it, I guess. Here goes nothing. It's not like I have anything left to lose. **

**"He wanted to make sure that no one else was ever part of your life, Mac. It bothered him when he saw that you were still friends with me. "Mac was upset by all that had happened in the last 48 hours. "Harm, he left me." Mac stated. Harm knew that the reason that he was lead to Mac's door was not only to save her life but to set them straight. **

**"Mac, I don't know why he couldn't handle the friendship that we had/have. All I know is that, on my first mission, I had seen him. I was hoping that he would not know me out of unifom, but I was wrong." Mac sat there trying to take it all in. "So you saw him. Why would he come here and try to hurt you?" Harm was trying to get Mac to see his point. **

**"Mac, no matter how many times you tell me "Never", there is no way that I would let anyone hurt you. That is part of why I came to your apartment." Mac wanted to know the rest, however, Mac was finding it hard to think, let alone ask anything. Harm had pulled her to just about beside him. "What was the other part?" Mac asked. **

**There is more to come soon. How do you like this so far? Any and all feedback is welcome. Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I still don't own the JAG people. Here is the rest of the story. Have you figured out who the man was yet?**

**The Many Meanings of Never**

**The feel of Mac this close after months of not having her there was doing the same thing to him that it was to her. Harm took one last breath and kissed Mac lightly on the lips. "Thats the other part Mac I couldn't let any one hurt you but I couldn't hurt you any more. I had come to tell you that I was going to go away and didnt know if I would be back. I wanted to see if you wanted me to come back. I had even thought that I might get Webbs help if you never wanted to see me after that. " **

**Mac had sat there with a shocked look on her face. Had she and Harm drifted that far apart that he didn't know how much she loved him? "Harm there was a time that I would have said I never wanted to see you again. But that was when I didn't know what you meant to me. All I saw was the hurt and pain that I had gone through. I had not thought about what you had done for me. Harm, I would have to say if we redid that whole time down there. I would not change anything. Now before you jump to a wrong reason it was not the reason you think. When I told you never it came out so easy. Like it was meant to be said. Later on I relized that the reason that I had said never to you is because of a different reason." **

**Mac was on a roll and Harm didn't want to stop her, but he had to know why she had said never. "Mac why did you say never?" Harm was sencere if never was what she wanted then thats what he would give her. "Harm it was easier for me to tell you that we would never work then for me to curse you with my life. I have never felt like any one would want me. Then you show up and take me just like I am no questions asked. Do you know how much that meant to me?" Mac looked at Harms face to see if he was understanding what she was saying. From the look she saw Harm was understanding her. **

**"I will tell you it meant the world to me. I was not going to let you get to me. But I found out to late your had my heart long before I wanted to admit it. You don't have to understand why I said never Harm you just have to know that after I said it things started to pan out in my mind. I could not longer hide my love for you behind the idea of being best friends. Does that make sense?" **

**Harm was waiting on Macs answer but never thinking that it could be the one that she had just given him. Harm started to do a little shy laugh. This cought Mac off guard. "Why are you laughing at me Harm?" Harm clamed down fast. **

**"I am not laughing at you Mac just that you and I felt the same way. We were just to stubburn to admit it to each other. When you told me never I could not understand how you could just slap me in the face like that." Mac started to say something ,but Harm put his finger on her lips. "Mac I needed a good kick in the head to understand what you needed. It turns out that I didn't need that manual that I asked you for." This made Mac laugh as well. **

**Harm reached over and gave Mac a kiss on her lips.Mac took a hold of Harms head and kissed him back. The nurse at the desk saw that Harms heart rate was up. Not knowing why she went to check on him finding the man in the bed and the woman that had been with him for the last 24 hours kissing made the nurse happy.**

**I wish I could wake up and find that the man that I love, loves me the same way these two love each other the nurse thought. "I hate to stop you from what I can only assume is along time coming but for at least the next 24 hours Mr. Rabb you and Miss-- "Mac" Harm said for the nurse. Well you and Mac need to let us know in advance that you are going to get your heart rate up. That way we don't come rushing in here again." The nurse was sencere but could not keep the happy smile off her face as she had told them that.**

**Harm and Mac just look at each other then back to the nurse "I promse to try to never hurt this man again. If that means that he has to wait tell he's better so that his heart wont suffer then so be it." the nurse just laughed at them and walked out of the room. **

**"Mac what happened to... " Mac had forgot that she had not told Harm yet. "He's dead Harm. It was you or him you had no choice. " Harm wondered how hard things would now be on Mac. "Mac there is always a choice its just sometimes the only choice that we have is to kill or be killed. I may have never liked the man. I may have never thought that he was good enough for you but I never wanted to see him dead becuse of a choice that I made. "**

**Mac was beginning to see how hard this was going to be for Harm as well as herself. Mac had known that Harm could kill she had seen him do it before. Mac had never seen him kill because of the reason he did this time. "Harm, Mic took that choice away from you. As you said sometimes the only choice you have is to kill or be killed. I don't hate you for killing him Harm. I was going to do it if you hadn't. Why would I hate you for something I was willing to do."**

**Hearing Mac tell him that she didn't blame him for Mic's death was helping Harm some ,but the feeling that came with taking some one else live was still there. That feeling that you wished there had been another way for things to have played out. Harm knew that the feeling of guilt for taking Mic's life would never go away. In time he would be able to live with it. If Harm could have Mac's help with dealing with this then all the better. **

**Mac was sitting there with Harm almost laying on him but that is not the point Mac thought to her self. The guilt that Harm feels is strong right now but in time it will go away. If he will let me be there for him then thats something I would love to do. Mac was so deep in thought that she didn't see Harm looking at her. When she did look up to Harm's face his eyes were looking at her in the way that made her world stop and then start spinning out of control. I wonder if this is what a tail spin would feel like in a plane Mac thought to herself. **

**Harm leaned over to Mac and looked in her eyes."Mac, I was just thinking. How much has come out between us because of one word and one man." Mac stoped to think about what he was saying. "I may not have ever liked Mic. I would have to thank him for pushing me towards where I really wanted to be. Last night I had a strong feeling of needing to talk to you and not being able to wait till tomorrow. I had no idea that he was there. I don't know how he knew that I would be there but he did."**

**Mac then looked at Harm in the eyes and asked" and the word?" already having a pretty good idea of what it was but wanting to know anyway. Harm was ready to tell her but wanted to show her how much he loved her first. Kissing Mac, Harm let all his fears go. "The word has a new meaning for me Mac. That is if you will let it. " Mac shook her head as a yes.**

**Harm went on"Mac, I will no longer have to worry about you (Never) knowing how much I love you. " Mac was crying again. "Harm the word also means something more to me. I will (Never) have to doubt your feeling for me again. Just like I hope to (Never) go another night out of your arms or another day of (Never) being let in your life." Harm took Mac in his arms and told her "Its (Never) going to be a problem Mac I can never let you go again. " Harm held Mac for the rest of the time he was there until he went home. Once they were at home Harm and Mac lived up to what they said in the hospital they never let the other out of there hearts until the day they died. Even then some say that they were never apart. **

**The End**

**Please let me know what you think. Thank you for reading my work. I didn't know till almsot the end who the man that held Mac was. Did any one figuer it out before they read it?**


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